Going Deep

By Sam Palahnuk

Many of us believe, without question, that loving intimate relationships follow a linear progression that goes something like this:
  1. You become Friends
  2. You become Boyfriend/Girlfriend
  3. You become Engaged to be married
  4. You are Married
  5. You buy a house together
  6. You have kids together
  7. Divorce, Death or a break-up ends the relationship

But, in reality the actual steps to a "deep" relationship don't arise in any order, and may never all be attainable. Here they are:

  • You are completely honest with your partner about your past and present -- you don't keep secrets or avoid certain facts or subjects.
  • You realize that you care a great deal about your partners happiness, and you find it easy and pleasurable to bring your partner happiness.
  • You realize that you want to have sex exclusively with your partner.
  • You realize that you want to cohabitate with your partner.
  • You tell you partner you love them, and you mean it.

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